Friday, 21 March 2014

More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos

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If so, maybe have him start with the clearly possessed parent who bestowed this idiotic torture.

Nope -- sleeping with half-open eyes is just a thing babies do. The truth is no one knows why they do it -- scientists are too busy working on things like sudden infant death syndrome and baby cancer to figure out zombie-eyed sleep patterns. The best guess is that it's because infants spend so much time in REM sleep: 50 percent, as opposed to an adult's 20 percent. It's the most active sleep stage, and it's called REM because, duh, rapid eye movement. Plus, remember that newborns do nothing but sleep, eat, poop, and cry, but mostly sleep. If you were knocked out 17 hours a day, you'd get caught doing some weird shit with your eyes, too.

Fortunately, your baby will outgrow creeping you out with its eyelids eventually, and in the meantime you can take comfort in the fact that YouTube is full of videos of parents desperately trying to convince themselves that their twitching voodoo child is somehow cute.


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"Here, give him a kiss- wait, why are you running away?"

#4. Babies Vomit from Their Noses and Spit Up Blood

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Everybody who's seen a comedy featuring a baby knows the drill. The minute your uptight boss or prospective lover walks by, a baby is going to upchuck all over him or her. It's unavoidable movie logic. What they don't tell you is that the regurgitated formula can just as easily erupt from his button nose.

If you're not horrified, you're not picturing what's happening correctly. Imagine sneezing and getting a Kleenex full of cheeseburger or pepperoni pizza. Imagine having remnants of your half-digested food linger in your nose for the rest of the day. That's what babies have to deal with, partially because God hates them, and partially because the valve between their esophagus and stomach isn't fully developed and junk creeps back up into the throat and mouth. By the time we hit the dinner table, most of us have figured out how to keep milk from shooting out of our noses after a good knock-knock joke. Babies aren't there yet, so you have to be patient, have an iron stomach, and have about 232,000 burp rags.


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Oh God, she can't see the look on his face! DROP HIM AND RUN, WOMAN!

Speaking of burp rags, don't freak out if one of them ends up with a stain that suspiciously looks like blood splatter. Among the many hellish things that will come out of your baby's mouth and nose is partially digested blood. Although alarming, blood in the baby barf can have a simple, disgusting explanation. When the kid is being squeezed out, he can swallow his mom's blood during all that nastiness and then puke it up later. Also, breastfeeding is not easy on the nipples, so if the skin cracks and bleeds (yes, that happens), the baby gets a little something extra in the milk.

Still, if your bundle of joy's spewing blood, you should really call your doctor and get that shit checked out, just to be safe.

And so it is with great pride in the parents of America that I tell you “Arya” was the fastest-rising name for girls on the Social Security Administration’s 2012 list of baby names released yesterday. As pointed out by CNN this morning, although the far more humdrum Sophia and Emma still top the list of popular girls’ names, Arya made a massive leap from #711 in 2011 during the first season of the show to #413 during its second season in 2012. The name’s first appearance on the list, which only includes the top thousand names for both boys and girls, occurred in 2010 when it clocked in at #942.

What Games of Thrones character names didn’t make the cut? Well, pretty much everyone else: Ned, Catelyn, Robb, Bran, Rickon, Tyrion, Cersei, Tywin, Theon, Jorah, Petyr, Shae, Davos, Melisandre, Margaery, Ygritte, Gendry and saddest of all, no Daenerys. (Get on that, parents!) The name Jaime actually declined slightly over the last year from #381 to #394, continuing a decade-long slide from a high of #250.
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos
More Baby Games Baby Games Online Free For Boys For Girls For Kids 2014 New Free Download Images Wallpapers Photos

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